I’m at a crossroads.

A few months since my layoff, I’ve found myself questioning everything about how I view professional life. I’ve also had a bad taste in my mouth for how this economy created victims who were shoved aside because no jobs have been created for them. At ten percent unemployment, I am one of those seeking work finding doors closed and people not willing to talk to you about opportunities. Or, rather, being looked at for jobs that are set up for immediate failure as soon as I walk in for that first interview.

Right now, the current job market is simply burning me out.

I also want to explore parlaying my current studies at Saint Mary’s towards a position inside an Arts or other Non-Profit organization. Most of the jobs I’ve applied for are related to my grad school studies, which certainly help towards those means. I’ve also been mulling over what to do with Autumnbridge Media since I has handed over the operations of the micropress and web domain to me a few months ago. The publishing business has been going through some strains due to the proliferation of technology, so I wonder if Autumnbridge is better off channeled into a new form or another.

Then again, maybe I should just be a freelance writer, photographer and journalist. Certainly that is a desirable situation, but with what safety net? In the meantime, I agreed to a collaborative book project that should be starting soon.

A month-and-a-half ago, an artist friend and I chatted at a local coffeehouse. He pointed out that I do not have a regular group of creative people I talk with every day. Part of the reason came from my experience a writer’s group I attended a few years ago. I found more of a therapy group for people needing to write to get through their emotional health foibles than an honest-to-God writer’s group. What I needed was honest feedback for my work so I can polish my craft further. The one person who gave me that fuel invited me to read at one of the literary series here in the Twin Cities. Through this series, I met some wonderful writers whom I admire and aspire to advance my art further.

But, I still question what I should do in the short and long run. Every time I turn around, 1,000 resumes flood into a single job and a few more friends/acquaintances leave town because it ran its course for them. I hate reading the news and not finding a glimmer of hope in terms of employment or any opportunity to get out of this rut.

However, I am confident that I can do something about my unemployment situation within a reasonable amount of time.

So, what to do I do to rectify this situation? How to go about doing it? What is school really doing to prepare me for a semi-recovered state? How do I keep the negative messages from bringing me down? How do I quell my desire to travel and maintain an unfulfilled social life until I am able to go forward?

These are questions I continue to ask. I know that I cannot stop living and not let the world and this economy overwhelm me. Perhaps this is a good time to recontextualize myself and find solace in my creativity without feeling lonely.

It all seems simple, but it’s not.

Please don’t take this post as a pity party for me. I know there are other people going through the same situation I am, but are weighing different options and tracks for their lives. I just wanted to take some time and write about my frustrations with my current situation and the economic and socio-political environment I am in currently.

This have prompted me to do some serious thinking. The answers are out there. They just seem to be on the horizon with a long way to get to them. Maybe it’s time to “make poetry out of a complex situation.”